Random Thoughts: Anger and my Faith in Humanity

Once upon a time, I used to tell my students and subordinates that I wanted every briefing in the Air Force to be able to be condensed into the following simple phrase: “Don’t be stupid”.  Despite my best efforts, the gene pool of humanity has made it to where this is a chasing after the wind.  Upon this realization, I had to adapt with the times and revise my phrase: “Never take any action that would force me to sit through a PowerPoint briefing.”  For the record, this now includes Computer Based Training modules. 

(NOTE: Ok…speaking of briefings, let me take the time to do this.  Seeing as how I mentioned the Air Force, I want to convey now that the words in this post and on this blog represent my own PERSONAL opinions.  In no way are they to be taken as the words, beliefs, position, and/or doctrine of my chain of command, the United States Air Force, the Department of Defense, or the U.S. Government, except when I am quoting—with reference and citation—an approved and published statement of said agencies.  My ranting is my own…see also PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY).

The problem isn’t so much the briefings, because really, I get what they’re doing.  They wish to reach the lowest common denominator, despite the fact that 99 out of 100 people in the room have never thought about what might happen if you get drunk and try to make out with a starving honey badger.  Or perhaps what would happen if you walked up to a moose and kicked it in the junk while yelling “Whammy!!!”,  or any of the other inane things that I’ve had to sit through briefings about because someone decided to prove that Darwin was right. 

I’m not going to go into some diatribe about how we should eliminate stupid people.  First off, that’s too subjective a criterion to begin genocide over.  More importantly, I’m not a heartless bastard.  I do believe in the sanctity of life and that we should try to help people, for the most part (I’ll probably elaborate more on this in a later post…in fact, you can bet on it.)  If we reach one person who was about to do something incredibly stupid and make them think, it’s worth it.  If remembering that cheesy commercial about sexual assault keeps a drunken idiot from raping someone, it’s worth it.  If the 9,999^th suicide awareness briefing saves the person sitting next to you, it’s worth it.  I’m not so arrogant as to think that a couple of hours of my morning are worth more than a human’s life. 

I am arrogant though, and sitting through briefings which are already ingrained in my head and beaten into me like nails into a 2000 year old cross annoy the fuck out of me, especially when they stand between me and my first cup of coffee in the morning.  Today’s cup of joy was about getting enough sleep and anger management. (For those of you who know me and may have been there to know what I’m talking about, the General’s video on discipline was spot on and absolutely pertinent…and moving).

What I learned from the briefings this morning is that: 1) I have horrible sleep patterns and stress, 2) it comes from my military lifestyle and there’s fuck all that can really be done about it, 3) it makes me irritable, and 4) there are people who want to help.  Thanks. 

I didn’t need a briefing to tell me any of this.  I did a stress study while at a professional military education course last year.  It listed a bunch of things that are considered “stressful” events in a person’s life then asked me to mark the ones that applied to me within the last 12 months.  These were events like “moving to a new location”, “getting married”, “getting divorced”, etc. They had a score associated with each, and I was supposed to add up the score.  I seem to recall a score of 100 or more meant that you were in heart-attack range due to stress.  I was somewhere in the 400-500 range. I KNOW I’m stressed. 

Of course the next bit of the briefing was about relaxation techniques.  I was dismayed to find that most of the things I do to relax are actually warning signs of deeper issues.  Hmm…  Anyway, as usual they got around to the “don’t sweat the small stuff” bit and began talking about anger and stress. 

This is always a fun topic, because I can be a very angry person at times.  It’s not so much that I hate people, I just hate when people do things that justify the idea that people are stupid.  It was as I began thinking about this that the briefer brought up the idiot in traffic that cuts you off.  If this happens to you, generally you get mad, honk your horn, give the finger, yell, scream, and do all sorts of things that aren’t going to change the fact that Mr. Assclown and his Cock-for-brains-mobile just switched lanes in a dangerous and offending fashion.  You’ve got good reason to I’d say, but the briefer seems to think that this could be an accident or misunderstanding.   Fair enough, sir.  Doesn’t change the fact that I’m Mr. Angry-as-fuck and I’d like to ram my Total-compensation-SUV-mobile up his tailpipe and see who wins.

What about this scenario?  A guy comes up and punches you in the face and walks away.  What do you do?  Most everyone’s reaction was to get up and curb stomp his ass until he melts into the asphalt and starts filling in potholes (ok…not that extreme, but they still wanted to hit him).  But what happens then?  You and the other guy go to jail, you both end up battered and bruised…blah blah…turn the other cheek…Jesus is watching…blah blah.  Yeah…I think that’s the answer the briefer gave in not so many words.

Again, I get it. Anger is a weapon only to one’s enemies, and managing that anger is what separates us from the animals.  It keeps us productive human beings.  It shows the discipline required to function as a member of the greatest fighting force in the history of the world.

It also restored my faith in humanity.

I want to look at the base reason for anger in the two scenarios above.  We operate in a world where we have made a social contract to abide by a set of “civilized” rules.  You follow the traffic laws because cutting someone off in traffic is unsafe.  You don’t just go and punch someone in the face because they have a right to an undamaged face, no matter how butt ugly it may be.  There are things that you don’t do because it’s not part of our social dynamic to do it.

So when someone cuts me off, you’re damn right I’m pissed.  I don’t care if it was an accident or not, I’m angry.  If the person didn’t properly plan their lane change, I’m mad because of their lack of planning.  If the person didn’t clear the lane behind them, I’m mad because their negligence could have caused me to get in an accident.  If the person did it on purpose, I’m mad because they’re a dick with no regard for the rules that keep a polite society from breaking out the nine-irons and playing Tiger Woods with their balls on the freeway. 

I’m pretty sure most people feel this way, which is why it encourages me.  The feeling is the fact that a wrong has been committed, and there is a strong urge to put it right.  Despite my exaggerated metaphors, the purpose of the anger is to let someone know in very clear (and painful) terms that what they did was wrong.  It is to correct behavior, not take retribution.  It is sheer coincidence that it would make me feel so good to wipe that smile off his face with my fairway wood. 

We should feel an outrage when we see a wrong committed.  Not the kind of outrage that says “I can’t get away with it, why should he?” but an outrage that says “that’s just wrong and should be made right”.  It should be our first response to injustice.  I use these petty examples, but they are part of the same base feeling.  Play by the rules asshole, it’s what keeps our species and planet going.

The trick always comes in with knowing how and where to enforce Karma’s will.  We are all, in our own way, agents of Karma.  We who are good and…I hate using this term, but give me a better one…good and righteous seek to put right that which is wrong.  We are not always Karma’s club of choice, however, and this is the wisdom that we must remember on our journey.

Anger is good.  Anger is passion.  Anger is caring about something deeply rooted in your person.  Hold your anger.  Carry it with you when you see something wrong.  Don’t deny it.  Vent it.  Get it out of your system.  Just don’t be so cocky as to think that you are the only tool in existence to put this wrong to right. 

There are times when we will be that tool, when you will be the Karmic hammer and sickle that rights injustice.  It should be tempered with wisdom and be violent only as a last (or obviously only) resort.  It will be an act of goodwill to offset the consequences of the injustice that angers you.  It will be a helping hand to the victim of oppression.  It will be “accidentally” cutting off the guy who just randomly punched that kid in the face three blocks back.  The signs will be there when it’s time to do right, and you will know it if you think upon it.

It is because I see the glimmer of that feeling in my fellow man that I do not lose hope for our species.  We all have those times when we want to lash out at some perceived wrong.  Let your anger be judiciously applied, but do not deny the feeling which can motivate you to be a force of good.  Be angry when it is right, and let that fire guide you to making the world a better place.  One Mr. Assclown at a time.

In nomine Penguin, et cetera.